Council Circle Guidelines

Compiled by the Zen Community of Oregon and PIMC Board, October 2024

 

 

1. Listening from the Heart

We listen with our full attention and with an open heart-mind. Listening from the heart does not mean never having opinions, responses, and reactions. Instead, we note them and return to deep listening to others. We do not let reactivity interfere with our listening.

 

Attentive listening to another helps another person to be present and to reach their truth more easily. We receive another’s sharing as our own sharing. We wait for the talking piece (See #8: “The Talking Piece”), hold it for a few moments of silence in our hands, and check in with ourselves to see what is arising in the moment. We are also deeply listening to the silence between speakers.

 

2. Speaking from the Heart

We speak from our own experience. We trust our own expression. We do not prepare what we are going to say. We pick up the talking piece, pause in silence to see what is arising, and plunge. We speak as honestly as we can without trying to project a certain image of ourself or without worrying how we will be perceived. In speaking our personal story, we use “I” statements, being true to our own experience.

 

3. Speaking Leanly

We speak leanly and, at the same time, say what is important. We cut to the chase. We become aware of when we are rambling. Speaking leanly attends to the essence of our message. We remember that we are being deeply listened to, so we do not need to repeat ourselves. We also consider how many people are in the council and allow time for others to share. We make eye contact with others in the council.

 

4. Honoring Silence

While we remember that our voice is important to the circle, we are also aware that silence itself speaks. When we hold the talking piece, we are encouraged to pause in silence before speaking. This pause creates a transition from the previous speaker. When we feel we have nothing to share, we are encouraged to plunge by picking up the talking piece and pausing in silence and seeing what may arise.

 

5. Speaking Spontaneously

We do not prepare what we are going to say. When we focus on our own story while others are speaking, we are unable to give the speaker our full attention. When we hold the talking piece, we pause in silence and then plunge, allowing our sharing to arise in the moment. Spontaneity encourages playfulness, authenticity, and the freedom to explore what is arising for ourselves moment by moment.

 

6. Refraining from Cross Talk 

Cross talk means commenting or responding to another person’s sharing either directly or indirectly. We simply do not speak when someone else has the talking piece nor do we reference another person’s sharing when it is our turn to speak.

 

Refraining from cross talk means:

 

• Not interrupting someone when they are speaking or addressing them when it is our turn to speak.

• Not referencing a comment someone else has made. Referencing another person’s sharing can often hide a subtle agenda of aligning yourself with or distancing yourself from another person. This dynamic subtly undermines the open field of Council.

• Not commenting or responding to another person’s sharing that includes the person’s name. 

• Not comparing, praising, one-upping, or disagreeing with another person’s sharing even when not using their name. 

 

7. Holding Confidentiality

We practice confidentiality to build mutual respect and trust in the Sangha. Confidentiality allows free expression. The intention of confidentiality is held after Council is over. We define confidentiality as follows:

 

“What is said in the circle stays in the circle. After the Council is over, we may discuss with others themes and insights that arose, but without attribution to any party. If you want to further discuss something said in council with the person who said it, first ask permission of the person. People are free to say, ‘No,’ and this response must be respected. We are not expected to speak about what we said in council after the council is over.”

 

8. The Talking Piece

We use a talking piece so that a speaker is known and recognized. We listen deeply when it is held by another. We speak or maintain silence when it is held by us. The talking piece ensures that only one person is speaking at a time. Its use discourages crosstalk and continually orients us to the entire circle. The facilitator selects the talking pieces to be used for a council. Each talking piece has a history which is introduced by the facilitator.